The Gain and Loss of Innocence
by Yoru.Soi.Hina.Trio
Summary: For some people, the loss of innocence is the loss of virginity. But in reality it is the loss of the security of childhood. Now one young girl must grow up and learn while the end is coming near, for her gift will help preserve the world’s order.
1. Foundation

Disclaimer: I do not own DGrayman and the songs that are mentioned in this, but I do own Rosaline Nevergold. Please don't steal any ideas

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Song:

"Blue Bird" by Ikimono-Gakari

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Ch. 1: Foundation

Night-time reigned over the sky, revealing the bright stars outshone by the sun in the day time. But their light was covered by the loose clouds floated by. The pale moon hung in the ebony sky that illuminated the night. The eerie silence was broken by complaints that came from a grumpy adolescent girl climbing the rough face of a cliff. Her amber eyes lost the burning determination that she had a few hours ago, now they shone with frustration and drowsiness. She groped for the end of the ledge; once she felt it she threw her suitcase up and pulled herself to the top. She came face to face with a whimsical yet irritating sight. A tower with multiple levels stood tall in the air. Looking around her, the girl saw that the tower stood on an isolated "island". Bats traveled to her destination, but they did not chirp and their bodies were oblong.

"Ugh, it's about time!" the girl shouted out loud, as she wiped sweat off her olive-skinned face.

She ran her fingers though her shoulder length hair that fell free and straightened the pigtails that hung from the sides of her head. She tried to make it look neat, so she could make a good impression on the officials located in the building. She dusted the gravel off of her outfit; which consisted of a maroon dress that flowed just above her knees. A pair of black tights that covered her ankles covered her legs and a black coat was thrown over her shoulders. Slowly, she approached the tower; her nerves were got the best of her, for her legs were shaking. She rubbed the golden bay laurel necklace out of habit. In the front of the building, there were a pair of humongous doors with a tikki style face carved in between the doors; it added to the imaginary intimidation and wonder that the girl felt.

"Ah, you must be the new exorcist that Tiedoll was bragging about" echoed a voice.

The girl's head whipped around, her mini-pigtails followed her; she tried to decipher where the voice came from. She saw that one of the "bats" she saw projected the voice. But with a closer examination, she saw that it wasn't a bat, but a contraption.

"Well, stand still so our guard door can examine you"

"What?"

Then all of a sudden, the ground lightly shook and the tikki face came to life, its eyes bulged out if its sockets, a beam of some sort shot out and covered the girl in light. She held her hand up to her eyes, for the light was very bright and almost unbearable.

Inside the control room, a man adorned in a white coat and hat observed the scene that played before him, along with other people who also worn white coats and three teenagers. One had silver-white hair that clashed with his grey-eyes and young appearance. A pentacle adorned his forehead and his left arm had a crackled looking texture in contrast with his other normal arm. His face was filled with curiosity towards the brown eyed girl. Another was a girl of Chinese decent, with black hair that cascaded down the side of her face and was held up with pigtails. Her eyes held excitement; for she saw that her future comrade was a girl like herself. The last was a Japanese teenager with long black hair held up in a ponytail. An intimidating sword hung from his back and his eyes held no emotion.

"Hm" mused the man with the hat on, as voiced out opinions surfaced in the room.

"She's kind of cute"

"Her hair looks really…unique"

"Her necklace is very beautiful" commented the Chinese girl, as her eyes laid on the golden chain that hung around the new girl's neck. It shone brightly as the beam's light bounced off of it.

"I'm assuming that her necklace is her innocence" answered the man with the hat on.

After a few minutes, the light faded and the door boomed:

"She's cleared! Welcome to the Black Order!"

"Oh, um; thank you!" said the girl, still amazed at the fact that the door could talk.

The doors opened and revealed a hall lit up with dim torches. The floor was covered in a checker-patterned tile and columns stood proudly. She turned to the flying machine and let it lead her to her destination. It stopped in front of a pair or normal looking doors.

"Thank you no more Tikki doors" the girl thought as she sighed in relief.

She rapped the door's surface, and was answered with a voice that commanded

"Come in"

She slowly opened the door, and found a room full of people. Most of them were in white coats; she assumed that they were doctors or scientists. Then there were three teenagers that stood out with their black uniforms and silver fastenings. The man with the hat approached her and held out his hand.

"Hello there, my name is Komui Lee. I'm the Supervisor the Head Quarters for the Black Order. It's very nice to meet you" he said.

"It's nice to meet you too, I'm Rosaline Nevergold" she replied.

"Everybody her are scientists that work in the Science Division, except for these three. They will be your fellow comrades as they are also exorcists" Komui said, gesturing towards the dark clothed people.

"I'm Lenalee Lee, Komui is my older brother. If you have any questions, just ask" she said.

"I'm Allen Walker, I just joined as well so I hope we can get along with each other" said Allen

"Kanda" said the Japanese teenager.

Rosaline observed the silent exorcist for a second more; she studied his grumpy stance, his cold facial features, and his long black hair that hung straight down to his back. She turned her head away, as she felt a bit of heat rise to her cheeks.

"Wow, a real Japanese person!" thought Rosaline.

"Well, now that we're all introduced; we need you to be examined" explained Komui.

"Sure" said Rosaline.

As they weaved through out the headquarters of the order, as they did that Lenalee showed off the training rooms, the cafeteria, the lounge, and the library. Komui tailed behind them.

So she followed Lenalee and Komui down to the basement where Rosaline's imagination expanded because of the many possibilities that popped into her mind. She saw complex machinery that beeped and compiled information at speeds that Rosaline couldn't follow. She secretly wished that she had a few more pairs of eyes and more time to admire the vast technology that she saw as they traveled on an escalator down to a lower chamber.

"Um, Rosaline we're here" said Lenalee

"Oh, okay"

There was only a platform that floated in mid air.

"Um, so what am I supposed to do?" asked Rosaline

"You're supposed to get on" answered Komui

"Oh, right! Sorry"

So Rosaline hopped onto the platform with Komui and Lenalee, she almost lost her balance when the platform started to descend towards what looked like a bottom-less abyss. They reached the lowest level which contained only a lonely floor that was barricaded with a fence so that people wouldn't fall into the other bottomless pit. Rosaline was a bit confused; she expected a doctor to examine her.

"Just stand still, and show them what you are" said Komui, taking a few steps back.

Rosaline found out why he stepped back for her body was consumed by swirling arms of an unknown creature. It wrapped its limbs around her waist and lifted her off her feet. It paid most attention to her prized necklace, which hung from her dainty neck. It groped its tentacles around the piece of jewelry and lifted it off of Rosaline. A bit shocked at what the "thing" did, she tried to reach for it with her hands, but it told her in a haunted, yet beautiful voice:

"It is alright, I am not going to harm it"

Rosaline's body relaxed a bit at the news she heard, the creature made her necklace glowed brightly in a pale azure light. Then it placed its head gently onto hers and chanted numbers:

"3%... 15%...45%...68%...79%... 80%...80%... the limit is 80%"

"80%?" thought Rosaline, "what the heck was that about?"

"Ah 80%, that's really good!" exclaimed Komui. "80% represents how synched you are with your innocence"

"Forgive me for scarring you", apologized the mysterious thing "I just wanted to see your innocence"

"Oh" Rosaline said, a bit speechless and frazzled at what she just went through.

"Rosaline Nevergold, you possess one of the same powers that I possess and something else. We are like sisters you and I; you shall soon be the bell that tolls for the order, like I" predicted the creature as it gently let Rosaline to the ground.

"We will be seeing each other very soon" chimed the creature, as it sank down to the pit.

"Very interesting, what do you think?" Komui asked above him.

Rosaline looked up as well and saw a semi-circle of men draped in a long uniform similar to Lenalee's, Allen's, and Kanda's.

"I think that she will be an irreplaceable asset to the order" one of the men said. "As for Helvaska's prediction, we will let time flow the way it's supposed to"

"Well, since we go that over with. Lenalee, can you show Rosaline to her room?" asked Komui.

"Of course, come on!" said Lenalee as she grabbed Rosaline's arm and tugged her along.

After a couple flock of stairs we finally reached my room, it contained the essentials: a bed and a vanity.

"Being an exorcist is going to be great!" shouted Rosaline.

She didn't even pause to think about the true meaning of the Black Order, for she didn't even know it.

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My first DGrayman fanfiction!

The fun has just started, so be patient.

A review would be very lovely; just don't give me really harsh flames, okay?

Constructive Criticism is key!


	2. Adjustment

Disclaimer: I do not own DGrayMan! I own Rosaline Nevergold!

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Ch.2: Adjustment

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Song: Megumeru by Eufonious (The Opening to Clannad)

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Morning's alarm clock goes off and steams bright light through the windows of Rosaline's room. The new source of radiance woke up the sleeping 16 year old and she sat up in bed. Her brown hair was frazzled and tangled and her eyes barely cracked open for they were closed though out the night.

Slowly she got dressed. Today's outfit was a simple teal dress that reached above her knees. Her hair was now fixed up in a pair of buns tied with white ribbons. It seemed like a sloppy job to her, but she couldn't care less. Then she put on a pair of black flats and raced down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast.

The cafeteria wasn't packed, but it was fairly full. Most of the people who sat there were dressed in a cream trench coat. She didn't see any exorcists in the crowd.

"Must be on a mission or something" thought Rosaline, as she approached the window to place her order. A man popped out of the window with a cheery disposition. He said:

"Ah, you must be Ms. Rosaline! How do you do? What would you like to eat?"

"What's on the menu?"

"Anything you want!"

"Seriously? Can I have ramen with mayo? Oh, and with no broth?"

"…."

Rosaline noticed the silence around her and saw that everybody in the cafeteria was looking at her, including Kanda. Rosaline was pretty used to this; ever since she was a child she would create horrible combinations of dishes. Her parents encouraged this thinking that this was a way to make her more creative in the kitchen; but they never tried the dishes themselves in fear of food poisoning. Her little sister Juliet always stayed away from her when she was working in the kitchen, and she was the only person in the family to see Rosaline's food ideas as a problem.

Mumbling started to stir amongst the crowd, as they turned back to their meal. And in about five minutes, Rosaline's unusual meal was ready.

"Wow, that was fast!" commented Rosaline as she grabbed her food and sat at an isolated table. She broke her chopsticks and started to indulge in the noodles that swam in a pearly concoction. After she ate her meal somebody called out her name:

"Rosaline!"

When she turned around, she saw it was Allen that called her name.

"Komui wants you!"

When she arrived at Komui's office, Rosaline was plunged into what looked like a library after a terrible hurricane. Crumpled and faded papers lay on the floor, not counting the miniature path made; the whole floor was covered in piles of papers. Rosaline felt a little ill as she looked at the catastrophe."Ah, welcome to my office Rosaline! The reason why I have called you hear is because your uniform came in" explained Komui as she casually drank his coffee, paying no attention to the storm that surrounded him.

Komui handed her a package wrapped in brown paper. She rushed to her room to try it on. After she assembled the whole outfit she looked at the mirror in her vanity. Her coat was the same as Lenalee's: Long sleeved, black and silver, white semi-shoulder pads, silver buttons, and the trademark Black Order insignia on her left chest. It was tailored to her body type, showing her almost existent curves. The only difference was the length; it reached just above her knees. So the coat looked more like a poofed out dress. Then she finished it off with some stockings and boots. As she moved around in it, she felt the weight of the silver buttons. She held one of them in her hands, and then she noticed that her name was carved on the back of each button. It was a nice touch.

She ran over to Komui's office to show off her uniform. Everybody's faces were pleased to see that the uniform fit her.

"Good! We won't have to tailor it anymore!" commented Komui.

"It makes her look like a kid" said one voice.

Rosaline discovered that Kanda was the one who made that comment.

"And yours makes you look like a cross-dresser" lashed Rosaline.

Komui and Allen chuckled while Kanda put on his usual scowl.

"Che, why did you call me over here Komui?" asked Kanda, his patience has waned.

"To brief you on your next assignment" explained Komui.

Rosaline felt a bit nervous, since she was about to receive her first assignment ever.

"Rosaline, Kanda; both of you are going to protect General Tiedoll" said Komui.

Rosaline's eyes lit up immediately.

"Hmph is that why you brought us all here?" asked Kanda.

"Yes, it's very important to know your comrades, Kanda"

"Whatever, just don't get in my way; brat" threatened Kanda.

"Don't worry about me; pretty boy" said Rosaline.

Allen looked at Komui and whispered:

"You sure this is a good idea?"

"Do you want to go with Kanda instead?"

That shut him up.

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"Ugh! How much more do we have to walk?!" shouted Rosaline as she threw her arms up into the air.

"Stop complaining you little brat, we're almost there" said Kanda.

"Oh, really? How long?" asked Rosaline.

"About 3 hours" answered Kanda.

Kanda and Rosaline left the Black Order two days ago and headed East. So far they took three trains and now they were on their fifth day of walking. Kanda looked fine; the many trips he took for the Order when he was young conditioned him so long journeys weren't so much of a problem. Unfortunately for Rosaline, the longest time that she spent outside was about one hour inside her family's garden; and she got scolded for staying out too long. Her pair of pigtail braids was messy as hairs stuck out in a mangled sort of way. Her bangs were out of place and mingled with the sweat on her forehead.

"UGH!" Rosaline complained as she fell onto the ground. "TOO MUCH WALKING!"

"Che" muttered Kanda.

"What? You're not concerned about my well-being; and I thought people from Japan were polite" stated Rosaline, her eyes drifted off to space.

"How did you come up with that?" Kanda asked; a bit interested at her opinion about his people.

"I met some nice Japanese traders that were doing business with my dad" said Rosaline. "What's Japan really like?"

"Huh, why do you want to know?" asked Kanda.

"I've always admired the culture of Japan, but I've only seen paintings and books on the country" explained Rosaline.

Kanda looked at Rosaline's expression; her eyes actually held some genuine interest.

"Hmph, if you survive long enough then you'll probably see it on a mission or something"

"Huh? That's no fair! Why won't you tell me?"

But Rosaline stopped her questions when she saw the distant look in Kanda's eyes. They did not hold the cocky attitude that was presented when they first met; instead it held the misty air of reminiscing. The way they pulsed showed that his memories were painful and full of anger.

"Come on, we have to catch another ferry in four hours" said Kanda, his demeanor returned to the stiff teenager.

"Four hours?!"

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Constructive Criticism is always good! Please review!!!!!


	3. Pure Memories Stained by Blood

Disclaimer: I do not own DGrayMan, I own Rosaline Nevergold. Please no stealing!

Chapter 3: Pure Memories Stained by Blood

Song: Megumeru by Eufonious (Clannad Opening)

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Apparently, Poseidon was in a pretty good mood, for the ocean curled and sprayed a light mist out in the air. The sky reflected the sea for it was now in a positive azure hue. Even though the sky and the sea were happy, our two travelers were not. Kanda, who's always in a bad mood, looked a whole lot more miserable for some reason. His face held a scowl that was a bit meaner than usual. Rosaline, whose ship experience was a zero, was experiencing sea sickness. Every shift, every wave that moved added to her sickness. Her eyes felt heavy to her and everything she saw looked like it swirled around her.

"You don't get out very often, do you?" asked Kanda.

"Erf" muttered Rosaline, not comfortable yet to speak.

A sharp jerk of the boat toppled Rosaline over while Kanda just got startled a bit.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Rosaline asked stupidly.

"No, it's not" said Kanda, with a bit of worry in his voice. He rushed to the source of the vibration, while Rosaline followed.

It was basically utter chaos when they arrived on the scene. People scrambled in a panicked frenzy like a herd of cattle. High pitched screams rang in Rosaline's ears, the smell of burning flesh and fresh blood was first introduced to her senses. Her vision was clear compared to her sea sickness beforehand, air did not enter her lungs for in that moment she even forgot to breathe. Then she saw one. An Akuma. It was a mere level one, but it could have been the devil itself in Rosaline's eyes. Its cannons gleamed in the blazing sun and floated ominously in the air. Its human "face" stared back at her with no emotion. Kanda's voice snapped her out of the daze that she was in.

"What are you doing?!? We have to destroy the Akuma!"

Another Akuma rushed up behind her back without her noticing, it positioned its guns to shot but Kanda pushed her out of the way. They slid across the deck of the ship, but they were fine. Kanda got up and simply brushed himself off, Rosaline just stayed on the floor and shivered from the scratches she just got.

Then thin wires started to float in the air and wrapped themselves around the Akuma, with the slightest movement they destroyed them. Kanda activated his innocence and started to taken on the monsters one by one. Rosaline just sat there, lost in the moment. A burly man with tanned skin who adorned the same uniform as they did ran up to her side.

"Come on, we need to get you out of here" he said, with a calm voice.

She tried to protest against this, for she also needed to help them fight, but the man wouldn't hear her pleas. He grabbed her hand and put her into one of the cabins.

"Stay here, I'll get you when we're done"

And then he slammed the door.

Rosaline sat on the bed, thinking about what she had just experienced. The screams. The panic. She went to the sink to wash her face. No matter how many times she washed herself, the lingering scent of blood wouldn't leave her. She hadn't even touched any but the smell was so poignant that she could taste it. She felt alone, terrified, but most of all she felt useless. She didn't even attempt to help her comrades out; instead she got pushed aside and received protection. While Kanda and that man fought, she stayed here; like a child told to stay in her room while the adults did their business.

All of a sudden, she felt nauseous. She rushed to the toilet and vomited.

Meanwhile, Kanda and the man looked on the destruction the Akuma did to the ship. There were some cabins that got torn in the fight, but the ship could still sail. The eerie calm after a battle lingered.

"I didn't know you were on this ship, Marie" said Kanda as he sheathed Mugen.

"Yeah, I just got back from Denmark. I'm joining you to look for General Tiedoll" said Marie.

"Che, what's up with her?" Kanda asked out loud.

"What are you talking about, Kanda?"

"I'm traveling with a new exorcist, but she turned out to be totally useless"

"Don't tell me that-?" said Marie as he walked away.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked Kanda as he tailed him.

Rosaline sat on the bed like a lifeless doll, she didn't move or blink. Then she heard a knock at the door.

"You can come out now, its safe"

Rosaline did want to come out, she just wanted to crawl inside a hole and shake like the little puppy she thought she was. But, she slowly opened the door and saw Kanda and the man she had met earlier. The new man's face was filled with worry, but Kanda's dark eyes were filled with irritation.

"Whoa, you don't look so good-"the man started but he got interrupted.

"_What's wrong with you?_You didn't even help us! You just ran away like a coward" shouted Kanda.

"_Kanda!" _bellowed the man; he turned to Rosaline, his voice more gentle" Was that your first time seeing an Akuma?"

Rosaline's throat felt thick and heavy, so she answered by nodding.

After a moment of thinking, Kanda then realized it. He had noticed that there some something different about her from the other new exorcists he had seen arrive at the Black Order, and today had given him his answer. All of the newcomers have had at least one encounter with an Akuma, which was how they found their innocence. But Rosaline was different, she's never seen one. And it was most unlikely that she's seen the gruesome scenes that exorcists see on a daily basis. She was young, naïve, and innocent. She's never seen her loved ones killed in front of her, innocent citizens slaughtered for no apparent reason, or the dusty remains of living humans scattered on the ground. Her mind was filled with pure memories, until now. Kanda also remembered the first time he saw an Akuma, his expression that day was almost identical to hers. He turned away from Rosaline and started to walk in another direction.

"Get some rest, we'll see you in the morning" said the man as he closed the door slowly.

Rosaline plopped onto the bed, not even bothering to change her clothes. Her body still felt numb from what happened. She closed her eyes and felt how dry they were. Then she thought about everything. She thought about her family, her home, and a certain man that started this all.

"The Akuma need to be saved" echoed a voice inside her memory" and the only way to do that is to destroy them; so they can rest in peace."

"But how can I save a monster that doesn't deserve peace? Tell me… Tiedoll" thought Rosaline.

Her consciousness started to slip and give way to sleep. Rosaline was a bit skeptic at first for she didn't want the horror of today to haunt her dreams, the only place that had a chance of sanity. But her body's desire for rest had beaten her in the end, so she drifted to sleep.

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So what do you think? Please review! No flaming, give me a sign! Oh, and I apologize for the grammar mistakes. Funny thing is: English is my best subject but I suck at grammar! And thank you Miu Egao! I screamed in joy for 10 minutes when I got a review from you! Seriously, I did and my computer science teacher got annoyed by it! (Not like that's new). Thank you so much! Did you read the latest chapter of DGrayMan!? I almost cried. Also I started watching Macross Frontier! Alto looks so much like Kanda! Maybe that's why I'm mad at him for not going with Ranka… because he reminds me of Kanda.


	4. Broken Porcelain and Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM

Chapter 4: Broken Porcelain and Memories

Song: Reminiscence from the Rozen Maiden OST

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The sun had set and the moon rose again. The stars in the sky shined as much as they could that night, but were beaten by the moon. Kanda and Marie stood outside of Rosaline's cabin. They decided to leave her alone so she could rest physical scratches and her mental scars.

"Che, she needs to stop being a sissy and get over it" said Kanda, his face held his trademark scowl.

"Oh, give her a break; she needs a bit of time to let it sink in. The first time I saw an Akuma I shut myself up in my room for two weeks and almost starved myself because I had lost my appetite" said Marie.

While the both of them talked, Rosaline laid in bed. Her legs were curled up against her chest and her mind raced with flashes of her memories.

_On her 13__th __birthday party, the usual routine was in play. A grand orchestra played the minuet while the guests lazily made small talk with one another. And Rosaline, in her scratchy dress, walked and talked like a marionette. She was the doll and her parents were the ones who pulled the strings. She hid her emotions behind a mask of powder and acted appropriately according to her mother and father. Her graceful movements and pre-written script of manners were taught to her by her governess. All of her father's business partners wished her a happy birthday in the same monotone. But that year there was another guest on the list._

_About an hour before the party, her mother consoled her in the powder room. Rosaline sat on a cushion while her faithful sister, Juliet stood by her side._

"_Rosaline, dear" she started; Rosaline resisted the urge to roll her eyes._

"_This year, a general from the prestigious Black Order will be attending your birthday party. This is an honor of a high degree. You are to be on your highest behavior tonight, understand?"_

"_Yes, madam" said Rosaline as she got up to leave, with little Juliet on her tail. _

"_Sis, what's the Black Order?" Juliet asked innocently, her jade green eyes started up into the golden amber ones that belong to her sister._

"_I'm not sure, Julie" answered Rosaline as she referred to her little sister in her pet name. _

"_Well, I better not mess this up" thought Rosaline as she walked around the ballroom. Then she noticed one of the guests because his attire was very unusual. He wore a black coat with frayed edges on the bottom. But the coat was adorned with gold plating. The man's eyes were hidden behind a pair of glasses and his hair was grey and messy. Rosaline concluded that this was the General, so she shyly approached the man and gave him the usual courtesy._

"_Good evening, sir. Are you a general from the Black Order?" she asked politely._

"_Why yes I am child. You must be Rosaline, I've heard much about you from your parents" he said in a kind voice. _

"_So, what is it that you do?" she asked._

"_I travel the world, looking for new exorcists and recruiting them into the Black Order"_

_Rosaline's eyes shone with excitement, she had never been out of the city before._

"_Have you been to Japan?" she asked with curiosity._

"_Why yes"_

"_What are the Sakura trees like? Have you seen any geishas? Have you seen any samurais-"_

"_Whoa! Slow down a bit!" said the general as he laughed. "You must really like Japan, huh?"_

"_Yes! I've always wanted to go there for the longest time! Ever since-"_

"_Rosaline! What are you doing?!" said a sharp voice that Rosaline recognized as her mother's._

"_Mother" bowed Rosaline in a monotone voice. _

"_Good evening, madam" greeted the general. "I was just talking with your daughter; she's a very well-behaved person"_

"_Why thank you, General Tiedoll" said Rosaline's mother in a high-pitched voice. "May I see you for a moment, Rosaline?"_

_Rosaline simply nodded and followed her mother behind a plant. _

"_Your behavior towards General Tiedoll was rude" said Rosaline's mother, but Rosaline did not see anything wrong with how she interacted with General Tiedoll. In fact, that was the most emotion she's ever shown except for her sister Juliet. _

"_I understand" said Rosaline as she walked over to General Tiedoll again._

"_What was that all about?" asked General Tiedoll._

"_It was nothing" said Rosaline; she felt a bit guilty for not telling him the truth. "It must be nice, being able to see the world and its wonders. The farthest I've ever been was the outer hedge of our garden."_

"_Really? Would you like to see?" asked Tiedoll in a mysterious voice as he held out a hand for her._

_Filled with curiosity, Rosaline grasped his coarse hand and followed him out to the garden. The place was filled with wondrous flower bushes and large trees that covered a stone wall. The tall rose bushes and blue azaleas created a beautiful, but foreboding barrier that blocked their way. Tiedoll then picked up Rosaline and jumped right over the wall. Outside was an uncultivated forest, where weeds tangled throughout the rough grasses and warped oaks drooped like a heavy burden was placed upon them. It felt weird to her, to see plants like these. They weren't pretty or colorful at all; instead they were all gloomy and wild. She held Tiedoll tighter in fear of something coming out and eating her. _

"_Calm down, I'm here" Tiedoll reassured her, as he put her down. Rosaline protested and tried to hold onto Tiedoll. But he won that fight and let go of her. _

"_Now, I know this place might be not what you are used to; but beneath all this lies something beautiful" said Tiedoll. He bent down and rummaged through the tough weeds, he beckoned Rosaline to come beside him. When Rosaline saw what Tiedoll was pointing at, she gasped. Tiedoll's hands pulled the weeds apart to show a small but robust poppy. Its golden petals shined brightly against the dull green grasses, and they showed no signs of creasing or disturbance. It was just there, minding its own business. Rosaline had seen more beautiful flowers than this, but the fact that it wasn't tampered with, the fact that something so beautiful was created naturally amazed her. For, she though perfection could only be obtained by tedious care and strict ways; like her mother's lessons in mannerisms. _

"_If we had restricted this flower's freedom, then it wouldn't have grown like this. Because it has been able to survive the competing weeds around it, this very poppy is the strongest and most wonderful one of all" said Tiedoll gently. Then, he removed his hands and the poppy was once again hidden by its ugly neighbors._

"_I think we should be going now" he suggested, as he picked up the young girl and returned her to the garden of her home. _

"_I bid you a happy birthday, Rosaline" said Tiedoll. He bowed his head and blended in with the swirling crowd of people. _

_Throughout the night, Rosaline's thoughts drifted back to Tiedoll and the dainty poppy just outside the walls of her home. Once the tiring night was done, and everyone in the household was fast asleep; Rosaline crept back out to the garden. She looked at the majestic scarlet roses and sky blue azaleas that bloomed in her garden. To Rosaline, they weren't as beautiful as they appeared before. Instead, they looked more artificial. They didn't hold the magical appeal that the poppy did, they were like the monotone voices that praised her at the party; they were disturbingly all the same. No originality what-so-ever. At that moment, Rosaline thought:_

"_Is that how I'm going to be for the rest of my life? A shelter flower? A porcelain doll?" _

_That night, she finally understood what she was missing from her life. Why everyday and everybody seemed so boring: they followed the same routine like everybody else. The servants in her house were used to a repeating cycle of orders. And the girls she had met her age acted like a piece of art in a showcase. She wanted something else from life. Her desire to be different had been born._

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Yay! Chapter 4 is up!!! If anybody got a headache from reading so much italics, then I'm sorry!


	5. Enlightment

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, I own Rosaline Nevergold

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Song: My-Hime Original Soundtrack Vol. 2 Track 25: Omoi, Hakanaku..... (Feelings, Fleetings)

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Ch. 5: Enlightment

The sun's peeping rays shone through the small circular window of Rosaline's cabin, delivering an unwanted message that it was already morning. Despite sleeping throughout the whole night, Rosaline's mind had still yet to heal. Reluctantly, Rosaline got out of bed and gathered her belongings. Her body moved but they were separate from her consciousness. Flashes of yesterday still played within her mind and the subtle taste of blood still remained in her mouth. Meanwhile, Kanda and Marie waited for her on the front deck.

"Grr, what the heck is taking her so long?!" complained Kanda. The boat would be arriving on land in a few minutes and neither Kanda or Marie had seen her ever since the Akuma attack.

"Be patient, please" asked Marie.

"If she doesn't get out anytime soon then-"

But his words were cut short because Rosaline came out. Her amber eyes were a bit swollen; the honey colored sparkle was gone and was replaced with a dull crippled shade of tan. She didn't even make an effort to fix her hair; her dark locks were tangled and frizzed. She carried her bag of belongings like it wasn't even there, for her shoulder sagged from its light weight.

"Wow, you look like absolute crap today" commented Kanda, expecting an insult to be thrown at him. But there was none. She didn't even look at him, which made Kanda wonder if she heard him at all.

"Well, shall we be going?" suggested Marie.

Kanda scoffed while Rosaline nodded in response.

After an exhausting day of walking through tangled weeds, a blistering sun, and mosquitoes; the three exorcists settled down for the night. Rosaline rested on a spare log and stared at nothing in particular. While Kanda stood up impatiently; waiting for some action or at least _something _to do.

"Kanda go find a source of water we can drink from. Rosaline, you can go get firewood" said Marie as he unpacked the tent from his bag. He also got out a machete and a canteen and handed them to Kanda and Rosaline; respectively.

Rosaline nodded and got up from the log to follow Marie's orders, Kanda looked at Rosaline warily as she carried the machete in her hands with no expertise what so ever. Why didn't Marie let _him_ get the firewood? Shrugging it off, he walked off with the usual scowl on his face as his catch-phrase: "Che" escaped from his lips.

Kanda started to slash whatever got in his way with his Mugen as he walked to find a stream or waterfall. The more he got further away from the campsite, the more frustrated he got; which was shown in how much force he put behind his blows. When he was about to cut down a whole tree, he stopped and listened. He could hear the faint trickling of water not to faraway from his location. The sound was originating to his left, so he sprinted in that direction. He came upon a small stream that was only about a foot wide. The water slowly rushed over the smooth rocks, but it only covered the surface in a thin glossy film.

"Better than nothing" thought Kanda as he bended down to let the water flow into canteen.

It took a while, but by being patient Kanda was able to fill up the whole canteen. He closed and headed straight for the campsite; following the path he had created due partially to his frustrations. When he returned to where he came from he saw that Rosaline had returned and a fire was already roaring; along with a fully pitched tent.

"Here's the water" Kanda said as he handed the canteen to Marie.

As Kanda sat down on the log next to Rosaline, he felt exhaustion hit slowly but surely. But exhaustion already hit Rosaline, who Kanda noticed, was soundly sleeping.

"Don't worry about her, just let her sleep" said Marie, boiling the water over the fire to disinfect it.

"Che, I'm not worried" retorted Kanda.

As Kanda looked into the fire, he became entranced with the fire's subtle warmth that it gave off, the crimson flames with licks of amber within them, the embers burning on the perfectly cut firewood-

Wait a minute; perfectly cut?

Kanda took a second look at each of the branches used as the fuel for the fire. Each and every one of them was cleanly cut to exactly the same length. The places they were cut didn't have any spiked edges. There weren't any stubs of extra limbs or anything; they were perfect. There was no way that a wimpy girl like Rosaline could have wielded that machete so expertly; it was almost impossible. Sure, there could be a few talented individuals who could have pulled it off; but who would take the time to cut them to even, exact copies.

"You noticed it too, Kanda?" asked Marie as he removed the pot of water from the fire.

"Yeah, there's no way that brat couldn't have cut those logs that cleanly with a machete" said Kanda.

"Take a look" said Marie, handing Kanda the same machete that Rosaline held in her small hands only hours ago.

The blade was clean; there weren't any nicks or cracks in it. Like it was…

"…like it wasn't even used" said Marie, completing Kanda's thoughts. "I sharpened it before I gave it to her, it should have at least a nick in the blade; but there isn't. And look at her hands, there aren't any blisters from using it either."

"But how is that possible?" pondered Kanda as he raised his hand to his chin in thought. It clicked.

"That's why you made her go get the firewood, to see what kind of weapon experience she had" said Kanda.

"Correct, looking how they were cut; I'd say she has some potential" said Marie." But, we don't know what kind of weapon he uses. I wonder… as far as I can say; it looks like Rosaline isn't as fragile as we thought" said Marie.

Kanda let his eyes wander onto the sleeping figure of Rosaline's. Her build was pretty small, and her small hands were like a doll's. She was innocent, like a small kitten. But the things Marie said made him think otherwise; the kitten may have deadly claws. The light of the flames were reflected off of her necklace, it gave her innocence an eerie glow. This made Kanda wonder: What _was _her innocence?

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And so, the sun's glorious rays were blocked by the horizon; making the sky a canvas of midnight blue, violet, orange, and gold. Dawn. The transition between night and day was almost there, and it was during around this time that Rosaline got up. Usually, she would be the last one to rise; but today was a bit different. Instead of meeting up with the outside air, Rosaline found herself staring up at the coarse green cloth of the tent. Next to her was Marie, softly snoring away. Using common sense, she concluded that she Marie had carried her inside the tent to make her more comfortable. Slowly, she crawled out of the tent to breathe in the morning air. The fire built last night had burned out, but Kanda was nowhere to be seen.

"He probably went to go find something to eat" thought Rosaline as she stretched out her muscles.

Feeling a very rare streak of adventure, Rosaline decided to take a morning stroll not too far away from the campsite. She walked towards the rising sun and felt the freshness of the beginning of the day. It was one of those pure and light feelings that you experience, the silence has not been tainted by the day's worries or many lurking presences. It was this pure feeling that prompted her to do something that she hasn't done for years: sing.

As she looked to her left and right, Rosaline made sure that nobody was near; especially Kanda. She slowly opened her mouth; took in a big breath of air, and sang:

_Paper cranes with winds so light_

_Is the famous legend right?_

_Made to grant a desperate plea_

_From dreams to reality_

_But what is your final fate?_

_After the finishing date_

_Are you thrown into the fire_

_Because of a desire*_

As she sang, she felt sort of lightness come within her chest. It was like each note she sang were a part of her bottled-up feelings. Those feelings contained fear, shock, and a hint of sadness; and the way the song came out of her lips conveyed those emotions in a perfect balance. The song gave her the opportunity to disperse those negative feelings into the air and out of her soul. The fact that she was alone gave her the freedom of being her own critic. No part of the song was too soft or out of tune to her; in her heart it was of perfection.

But of course with somebody else there, it's a whole other story:

"What song is that?"

Rosaline quickly turned around and saw Kanda standing only a few feet away from her. Her face quickly grew warm and her mind raced with different types of excuses to cover up her embarrassment.

"It's none of your business!" she snapped.

"You're not that bad, so why not sing in public?" asked Kanda.

"I always sing flat. So I don't sing when people are around, it bothers them"

"So, what if it isn't perfect" argued Kanda as he turned around to head back to Marie.

But Rosaline could have sworn she heard him say:

"It's the reason why I like it".

With those almost silent words, Rosaline's happiness soared; much to her confusion. With the help of those several words, her phase of depression and first-impression of Kanda had faded away along with the night before.

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Well, Kanda is warming up a bit. Only a bit, like half a degree. I don't want to rush this. This was originally supposed to be the chapter where Rosaline used her innocence but for some reason this happened instead. I used the word "log" a lot, now I just realize the unintentional Naruto Abridged reference I put into this fanfiction. Question: Is anybody playing the songs I put in each chapter while reading them? If you do, tell me if some of them don't match up.

*Oh, and if anybody can figure out what the song Rosaline sang was about; then extra brownie points to you!!!!!!


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